so majorly stressed out

I am in the middle of doing my literature questions and I think I'm going to shoot myself. It's only five questions but why can't I finish? Only 100 pages but why am I getting so distracted? Why must I be so lazy!? I would have finished all this by now if I stopped procrastinating.. and I'm mega hungry right now. I feel like I've gotten SO lazy this year even though I have more work than freshman year. I don't even know why my procrastination got worse... I mean I'm a sophomore now... I can't believe I'm not finishing my work diligently. I've become so indolent and I can't help it but to predict that I won't get into college. With my average grades and my average work ethic, I won't be surprised if no colleges accept me. My music career won't make it, I wanted to be a chemistry major but that won't work either when I'm having so much trouble in chem right now, and I can't even major in music history.. music history is harder than I thought. My music history class is mad hardcore.. so many things to know, to learn, and behind that, I gotta 100% know music theory!! Whatever. All I discovered this year was that MY LIFE SUCKS. During the first month of school I've gotten atleast 7 hours of sleep a day and even with all those hours of sleep, I was still exhausted and so tired during school. I think I'm becoming sick of life because I can't concentrate at all and I'm always half asleep. It's weird how I'm able to walk from class to class. I get so much sleep yet I'm so tired everyday!!!!!!!! but right now I think this will be my first all nighter as a sophomore. I'm on my second cup of coffee and my dad got me black..blegh. and freshman year was a lot easier. I had more work but not that much studying. Sophomore year I have too many tests, quizes a week and it's draining me out and I'm not used to this intense studying. This is the first year that I've ever studied for a test that wasn't on the next day because there is just so much information that I have to know. Anyways, I do realize that my life isn't getting any better and I know it won't. Life is so hard. It's so annoyingly stressful, so so so so 복잡해 and I swear I'm going to lose my mind AND all my  hair before I turn 20. I don't even know if I'm going to survive until then. Life is hard and it hates me. I am finally realizing how hard highschool is getting.  

Today is my birthday! (: Happy birthday to me ^^ last year it didnt really feel like it was my birthday but this year it definitely does! haha even though my party is not going to be this month, or the next, or the next.... i am still very happy with all the birthday wishes everyone gave me. and the cards that i got from school was really sweet, too (: i got one from jenny lee, other jenny lee, jung unni, mike, and christine! ^^ thank you so so so much~ i kinda just chilled by myself all day today after church. and im very happy because im gna go chill with my youngcow soon! i should do my chem homework LOL its so hard T_T im going to finish my chemistry homework after i eat my dinner that my mama will make me~ well i didnt really do anything today but im happy! thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and happy sixteenth sujin! (:

sweet 16 was amazing!

dear xiary. oh em gee. catherine's sweet 16 party was the best party in the world. usually sleepover birthday parties are just watching one movie and not sleeping and that was it. but her party was just amazing! the place where we stayed at was her uncle's summer home and it was BEAUTIFUL. the house was like above the water so it was so cool. the sunset was beautiful and the pool was PERFECT. when we got there we started swimming and then some people went kayaking. after that we got dressed for dinner and catherine looked beautiful! oh man i wish i had her height... anyways, we opened gifts and stuff. i think my gift was THE BEST. haha. and her uncle had a nrb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST PART EVER!!! hahahahaha i was like the only girl singing korean songs cuz ther were like only 5 asians out of the 15 of us. it was so fun~ and after that we watched 17 again. zac efron is THE HOTTEST THING ALIVE. EWWW an ant was liek crawling on my couch and i slapped it but it got away and i just saw it crawl off of my laptop on the corner of my eye. IT COULD BE ANYWHERE... okay woah ADD. then we did our nails!!!!!!!!! CATHERINE GOT LIK A WHOLE BOX FULL OF NAIL POLISH. HOLY MACARONI. THERE WAS SO MUCH NAIL POLISH. I SWEAR THERE WERE LIKE 100 OF THEM... it was like a store. and she only got that for her party!!!! now its all hers!!! omg when i saw that i thought i was going to cry. i wanted it so bad... T_T well my nail polish collection will start soon. but yea nail polish = my love. after dat we slept and then we woke up and ate the best breakfast. i felt like blair waldorf. it was like an upper east side breakfast. it was amazing. and blahblah and i got home and now im exhausted :( i had a chem pop quiz today and tech was jsut so boring. all my classes were SO. BORING. fml seriously. but i only have like four classes tomorrow :D keke cant wait till my sweet 16! its gna be awesome!!

today was such a good day. i only had one hour free for my lunch but it didnt matter. i felt like the happiest girl in the world. i wish i can repeat this day hehe im so unbelieveable tired right now. its only like 9. >_< im rewatching Lemony Snicket A Series of Unfortunate Events. im up to the part where jim carrey kills uncle montgomery. man he is so evil! why did he have to kill such a nice man T_T i was so sad for the baudelaires. anyways, i had a chem pop quiz today and it was freakin hard. but idk.. i'll just do better on the next quiz. wow i am so tired! i have only one wish: TO REPEAT THIS DAY AGAIN! exactly how it went. it was just too perfect <3